Attitude of Gratitude

Being in recovery, I've learned wholeheartedly how to not take things for granted.  We call this gratitude.  Simple really.  But to have real gratitude, I believe you have to fall hard just as I did to really feel it and appreciate it.  All the years I wasted on boozing and doping and all of the things I didn't see while I was "out there" have become so prominent and beautiful now that I can see clearly and actually feel.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not on a soapbox about how life is great all the time cause we all know it's not.  The good part about recovery is you get your feelings back.  The bad part about recovery is...you get your feelings back!

Mostly, my days are far better than they used to be.  Before I got sober, my life consisted of negativity, anger, and hate.  You name it, I was mad about it.  And I drank over it.  Or used over it.  Or both.  I was so unhappy all of the time.  The sad part is, I thought it was okay to live that way.  More reasons to drink and use.  The sadder thing is that I thought the only one I was hurting was myself.  Another fallacy in the world of addiction and alcoholism.

We learn in the program that life is worth living, there is good in our fellow man, and we ourselves deserve love.  This doesn't happen over night mind you but with time, dedication to change, and hard work, it becomes a reality.  Luckily for me I decided to stick with it, even when I thought I just couldn't do it.  I have a disease that likes to tell me I'm not sick.  I have to be on guard at all times.  And some days are harder than others but for the most part, I'm truly happy.

I have a whole new appreciation for life and what it has to offer. The simple things such as a beautiful morning, the smell of fresh air, the trees, flowers, a flowing creek bed, a good cup of coffee, the birds humming, the trains whistling, beach days, curling up with a good book, snuggling with my pets, or a nice summer night.  And then there are the necessities such as my job, my home, my car, my "things".  And of course the living breathing people in my world, my sister and brother-in-law, my dad, my sponsor, my friends...all of whom I would not have in my life if I was not clean and sober.

The promises are coming true for me today.  I am finding serenity and peace.  I am truly grateful for where I am today and what got me here.  An attitude of gratitude and serenity is where it's at for me.

Peace and love.